Ephesians 5:22-33
The Twelfth Sunday after Pentecost -
Pastor Troy Slater - Our
This morning during the Bible Study
hour we concluded a six-week look at marriage using a book entitled, “Marriage Is Like Dancing”. And it turned out to be a pretty good study,
I thought. A lot of
good scriptural reminders and words of encouragement regarding marriage. A couple of weeks ago as I was looking ahead
at the readings assigned for the upcoming Sundays I noticed that our timing for
ending that class was pretty good for I noticed that the Sunday we were
scheduled to end that class – today – our assigned Epistle reading is a text
that was quite central for that class and for marriage itself. It's of course the often referenced and often
misunderstood Ephesians chapter five verses.
“Wives submit to your husbands as
to the Lord… Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church…”
Of course when it comes to marriage, we
need a lot of help in this area, don't we?
And I'm not just talking about our society in general where marriage -
especially the Biblical model of marriage between one man and one woman - is
often looked upon as a rather outdated and optional institution. And no doubt we could go on and on about this
but I just want to make one quick note. As
I said last week would probably happen, this week the Evangelical Lutheran Church
of America - the ELCA - voted by a 55 to 45 margin to allow gays and lesbians
who are in a same-sex, monogamous, life-long committed relationship to serve as
clergy in their church body. A sad ruling indeed for the whole Christian church in heaven and on
earth and especially disheartening for those of us who bear the name Lutheran.
Certainly a call for
all of us to repent and to cling humbly to God's Word and God's Word alone. And again, we could go on and on about such
instances; how society and even many within the church have taken God's gift of
marriage and either tossed it out or twisted it to fit their own desires. We could do that, but we're not.
We're not because instead of talking
about "them out there", we need to look at ourselves - at our own
lives, our own attitudes, our own marriages.
I mean, did you know that the divorce rate is pretty much the same for
Christians as it is for non-Christians? Shouldn't
be, but it is. Plus, among our Christian
marriages we have abuse and neglect, selfishness and bitterness, plus of course
the adultery. Among our unmarried we
have the sexual immorality and the living together without marriage just as
commonly as it is outside the church. No
when it comes to God's gift of marriage, the problem is not just with
"them out there." It's also right
here with us. …
Now I realize this topic of marriage
is something that affects each of us to a different degree although it does
affect us all. After all, the
husband/wife relationship is the foundation of our families and our families
are the foundations of our society and are to be the seed beds for the raising up
of each new generation of god-fearing men and women. And so regardless of where you are in life -
married, single, divorced, hope to be married someday, widowed - I encourage
all of you to hear Paul's words to us today.
Hear Paul's words to us because they are God's Word and God's Word is
always relevant to all of us. And so listen
to God's word regarding husband and wife. …
In our reading Paul first addresses
the wife. "Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord. For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body,
of which he is the Savior. Now as the
church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in
everything." These verses
are of course often cited to try to show how Christianity promotes an
oppressive, demeaning view towards women.
Plus, our culture seems to like to generate an increasing resentment
towards any type of authority as it encourages us to dishonor and throw off all
authority - be our own authority. And so
perhaps when we hear those words "wives
submit to your husbands" perhaps we picture in our mind an
authoritarian husband beating his wife or belittling her for her thoughts and
opinions. And to be sure, sadly more
than one husband has used these verses to do just that. But man's sin does not negate God's Word;
man's abuse does not cancel God's good and perfect plan for husband and wife.
And God, He made
man and woman, differently, didn't he? I
think any middle school student can figure that one out. And as man and women, He gave them different
vocations. And one of those vocations
that He gave the man was to lead - to be the head of the household. And how that leading is to look, we'll get to
that more in a bit. But as He gave one the
vocation to lead, the Lord gave the other the vocation to follow. Not saying that the wife can't give input
into the decisions to be made in a marriage and I'm not saying that the husband
is not to respectfully and lovingly listen and consider his wife's input. I'm not saying that marriage is not a team
effort. After all, husband and wife are
interdependant upon each other as the Lord God declared Himself when, prior to
making the woman He said, "It is not
good for the man to be alone. I will
make a helper suitable for him."
Also, I'm not saying women are not equal to men in worth or value. But what I am saying, or rather what God's
Holy Word is saying, is that they are different in their vocations. What God's Word is saying is that with those
different vocations comes different levels of authority. Kind of like with say a policeman in
relationship to others in a society. The
policeman has been given an authority that, say, I don't have. He can pull you over and give you a speeding
ticket, I can't. He has a different
vocation. Not that we're not both
valuable in God's eyes or have something to contribute to society but we do
have different vocations and with those different vocations comes different
levels of authority. True in society,
true in the family. God gives a
different level of authority to the husband than He does to the wife.
And also, note
here that Paul says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord." Now, as
Christians, male or female, we belong to Christ, don't we? "You
are not your own; you were bought at a price," St. Paul says. St. Peter puts it this way: "You know that it was not with
perishable things such as silver or gold that you were redeemed from the empty
way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious
blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect." You
belong to Christ. In His mercy and grace
He has "purchased and won you from all sin, from death and from the power
of the devil." Christ Jesus is your
Lord, He is your Master having gone to Calvary's cross for you.
And as your Lord
He gives you people or offices to provide for you - to act in His place for
your care and protection. Scripture
says, "the authorities that exist
have been established by God." In
other words, the authorities God places in our lives are the "masks"
behind which God provides for our needs.
For example for the child, the mask behind which God works is that authority
of the parent through whom God nurtures and cares for that child. For the citizen, God's mask is the state through
which our Lord provides protection and peace for the citizen. For the student, God's mask is the teacher
through which He gives useful learning.
For the Christian, God's mask is the pastor through which the Lord leads
and guides you by His Word. And for the
the wife, God's mask or authority is her husband who is to care for and protect
his wife as she tends to her duties.
Duties certainly as mother, if the Lord so blesses, or as she
contributes to society outside of the home.
The husband is the authority in the family, through which the Lord
provides for the family.
And so it is
that Paul says "Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord."
For when a wive submits to her husband, looking to him for leadership
and security, she is in effect submitting to the Lord who gives her that
husband.
Now, I suppose
the typical wife would say here, "Well boy, my husband sure doesn't act
like Christ." I can guarantee you
that my wife has thought that more than once.
But again, that doesn't change what God has given. Man's sin does not negate God's good and
perfect plan. A husbands failing do not
eliminate him from his God-given vocation as the head of the wife.
And actually this takes us to the
rest of Paul's words for this morning. Paul's words to the husbands - to the men of the church. And to be honest with you, here is where I
believe most of our problems lie - our problems in society, our problems in our
churches, our problems in our homes. "Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing
her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself
as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy
and blameless. In this same way,
husbands ought to love their wives …" … I am
convinced that the biggest
problem in our homes, in our churches, in our communities, in our society is
our men. And I'm pointing to myself just
as much as anyone. I don't think it's
any secret that so often the men go off and do their own thing, neglecting
their God-given responsibilities, forcing the women to take up the leadership
in the household by making sure things are done such as the raising of the
children in the faith.
But in our reading Paul calls
husbands to be leaders in our families - Christ-like leaders focused not on
self, but on others - first and foremost, the wife. But what kind of leaders are we being? Is it Christ-like? If you are married, is it a giving of
yourself sacrificially, putting her interests above your own? Are we teaching our sons to be Christ-like
leaders or are we just teaching them how to play? And even if you don't have a son or a
grandson, you're around boys and young men.
Is the example you are showing them in the church, in the grocery store,
in your neighborhood, is it a Christ-like example of leadership and self-giving
service? … "Husbands,
love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to
make her holy." … Men -
are we being Christ-like leaders? …
Of course
anytime we try to compare ourselves to Christ, we're going to be left feeling
rather ashamed, aren't we? For there is
only one Christ, and we are each but poor, miserable sinners. And that's why in any godly marriage, as in
any relationship or as with any Christian, confession and forgiveness must
stand at the center. For conflicts will
arise, things will be said and things will be done that shouldn't have been. We will fail each other, husband will fail
his wife, wife will fail her husband, we will all fail
to live as God calls us to live. …
But that's why Jesus came, isn't
it? That's why Jesus was born in
And so now because of Jesus, confessing
our sin, God gives us what we need. "If we say we have no sin we deceive
ourselves and the truth is not in us.
But if we confess our sins, God is faithful and just and will forgive us
our sins and purify us of all unrighteousness." In Christ we have been made holy, cleansed
through the washing with water through the word, made to be a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other
blemish, holy and blameless. Forgiven in Christ - that's what we have been made to be.
And forgiven in Christ, we can now
forgive others and we can now ask for that same forgiveness for ourselves. I need it, you need it, we need it, God gives
it, we can now give it. Husband can forgive wife. Wife can forgive husband. Members of the body of Christ can forgive fellow
members of the body of Christ. It's what
Jesus came to give by His cross and resurrection. It's what's at the center of our life in
Christ. …
For no, the problems in our
marriages, in our churches, aren't just "out there". They are also in here. But God's grace is also here. He's given us his good and perfect plan for
marriages and for all of life. And He's
given us His forgiveness.
May God grant us that forgiveness,
for Jesus' sake.
May He grant us the grace to live as He has called us to live - as
husband, as wife - as men, as women - as His forgiven people may He grant us
the grace to live as He has called us to live.
Amen.